


Breaking Routine

by sweet_witch_hella_knight



Category: That Guy with the Glasses/Channel Awesome
Genre: Alternate Ending, Christmas, Fix-It, Gen, christmas story 2 review, hopefully NOT abuse apologism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 11:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13029960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweet_witch_hella_knight/pseuds/sweet_witch_hella_knight
Summary: An alternate ending for the Nostalgia Critic "Christmas Story 2" review that doesn't end on a Hyper/Critic scene, but deals with a relationship I wish got more attention.





	Breaking Routine

**Author's Note:**

> this episode is hard to watch for me because i'm very uncomfortable with hyper/critic and i don't like the original episode's ending that feels too much like 'give your stalker a chance.' i know some like it but i just don't. i also wish benny had more to do in that review especially near the end. 
> 
> so this is a compromise, because i love the idea of hyper being comforted and not feeling alone, but i don't want that someone to be her former kidnapping victim.
> 
> some of these lines (as in, everything from the first section) are taken straight from the video, others are tweaked a bit, but it's mostly original. i tried to write scenes i thought could work in the show itself. :)

_"I! Hate! You!!!!"_  
  
Screaming directly in Hyper's face, Critic finally wound down from his incredible rant against his former kidnapper. It was cathartic, of course, to have power over her after all she'd put him through, but then he started to come out of his head and look at her face.  
  
She was glassy-eyed and mute, and overall pathetic. This wasn't the look he was used to when he yelled at her- usually she just kept smiling and idiotically persisting. _Okay,_ he thought, _she's probably going to ignore everything I said and just run around the studio more, like always. Then I can just lock myself in the bathroom with some bourbon until she leaves._  
  
Yet Hyper didn't seem ready to run away and ignore it. It looked like everything he had said about her being stupid and cancerous actually hit her this time, and she was believing every word. "Okay Critic," she said, defeated, "guess that's how you feel..."  
  
"Wait, what are you doing?" Critic said, confused at the change of pace.  
  
"I'm...just gonna go then..." Hyper grabbed Chester's stolen coat.  
  
"You can't do that," Critic argued, "that's, that's cheating..."  
  
She put on the coat, looking back at Critic, hoping for a change of heart but not trusting that it would come. She started walking out the door.  
  
Critic peaked out the door as Hyper left. "This wasn't how I played out in my head," he admitted. Hyper just kept walking down the street, not listening to him, just staring straight ahead and trying not to cry.  
  
Emotionally exhausted and incredibly conflicted, Critic laid against the wall with a sigh.

* * *

  
"Ugh, that guy just didn't stop bleeding," Benny mumbled to himself, shaking the water off his freshly-washed hands. "You'd think a kid could just accept getting an iPhone 6 instead of the 6+, but I really can't complain."  
  
He dug the oodles of cash from his pockets to look through before Critic noticed him. "Benny, you're still here?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. Sorry, man, I was waiting for Hyper Fangirl to come back so she could pay me." He glanced around. "Say, where is she anyway?" He watched Critic lean back against the wall and bury his face in his hands. "Must have been something pretty degrading this time, huh?"  
  
"Not for me, I don't think," Critic answered. "I threw her out."  
  
Benny's eyes widened, though they weren't visible behind his shades. "Wow, _you_ managed to overpower _her?_ "  
  
"Hey, it isn't _that_ surprising. I just got fed up with her trying so hard to make me appreciate Christmas, so I just let loose on her."  
  
Benny stared Critic down. "If I didn't know the context, I would think you were such a douche for saying that."  
  
"Well, _you_ know her," Critic said. "Do you think yelling at her is warranted?"  
  
Benny strolled over and joined Critic leaning against the wall. "Critic, I've worked with Hyper for a while, and I can't really say much to her if I want to get paid. But I can tell you, she's one of the most twisted clients I've worked with."  
  
"So I'm right then?"  
  
Benny sighed. "If I were in your position, and I didn't have an incredibly cool hitman aiming a gun at me..." He adjusted his shades. "I would have done the same even earlier."  
  
"Then if I'm right..." Critic scrunched up his face. "...why do I feel so...wrong?"  
  
Benny shrugged. "Stockholm, maybe, which is pretty much what she was hoping for before." Critic shot Benny a weird look, and Benny kept talking. "Could just be the spirit of Christmas getting to you."  
  
Both made sense. Critic knew how soft Christmas made him, but having watched the movie filled him with so much anger, and combined with the fury that memories of Hyper conjured up, it was impossible to hold down, and he just had to tell her every awful thing he felt about her. Now she was gone, and he still felt pressured to find the good in everything, even when he didn't know if it was right.  
  
"It's this dumbass movie," he vented to Benny. "It brought all my anger back up this Christmas. It took a simple film in a small town environment and oversaturated it into kitschy commercialized garbage clinging desperately to cliché scenes to the point where the emotion doesn't even matter, and this piece of shit sequel is the crown of it." Benny nodded as Critic continued: "I just wish this good and simple film could have stayed good and simple. The one possible upside is the sequel can highlight the charm of the original by contrasting it with its corrupted bastard cousin."  
  
Critic turned towards Benny and finished his monologue. "And I guess that's what you and..." He gestured towards the outside. " _her_ were trying to show me, that there was still a bright side to all of this."  
  
"It's nice that you're finding _some_ merit in a crappy film like that," Benny commended Critic. Then he looked back out the window. "Hey, look." Critic joined him at the window. Benny pointed in the distance, where Hyper had stopped and was sitting in the cold, dwelling in her own pity.  
  
Critic swallowed, not wanting to go back to her but feeling a strange sense of empathy nonetheless, like he knew that sort of pathetic loneliness too well. "Christ, is she trying to freeze to death?"  
  
Benny shook his head. "Usually this sort of thing is just her being dramatic. But you can never be too sure." He seemed to know her on a level Critic didn't even know her, having worked on her side. He looked towards Critic, giving off his own sense of pity. "Think there's a bright side to this?"  
  
Looking between the pathetic girl and the man who was likely her closest companion, Critic started to hatch a plan. "Hey, Benny. Do you have any other plans for today?"  
  
"Well," Benny scrolled through his phone, "usually I'm too busy with spontaneous work to make any finite plans for the holidays. Don't want to get ambushed by the CIA in the middle of cutting the turkey, you know?"  
  
Critic didn't exactly know but he nodded anyway. He picked up the _Christmas Story 2_ DVD. Just like how he felt about the movie the movie, he was sick of his life following the same formula just because it was easy, and he wanted to take the effort to change things for the better. Get rid of his problems without feeling horribly guilty about it.  
  
He handed the DVD to Benny. "Would you mind clearing a couple of hours from your schedule?"

* * *

  
"Hey." Hyper almost jumped as Benny appeared seemingly out of nowhere. He held a hand out and slowly picked her up from the pavement.  
  
"I know you were expecting to have a lonely Christmas again." Hyper nodded as Benny correctly guessed her worries. "And you're finding it harder to ignore that Critic isn't an option anymore." Hyper withdrew into her coat, ready to start crying again.  
  
Benny, despite his naturally cold demeanor, put his hand on her shoulder and tried to give her comfort. "But I was thinking...we tried to do what we tried to do. We failed, but that's done and we can move on now." Hyper still looked hesitant, but Benny held up the DVD and she looked at him quizzically. "So...how about we take a break from the torture and bloodshed and torture ourselves in a more fun way by watching this garbage movie?"  
  
Hyper looked at Benny, the friend she hadn't even considered in her single-minded quest to score Critic, offering her his time to spend with her, something no one had done for her in years. It wasn't what she was used to at all, or what she was expecting, but it filled her with a positive energy that slowly got her out of her slump.  
  
Still a bit too on edge to speak, she enthusiastically nodded and went off with Benny.

* * *

  
That was their Christmas: Hyper Fangirl and Benny the Assassin sitting in a warm living room, just reveling in the secondhand embarrassment of a terrible movie. Benny cracking the darkest jokes that made Hyper laugh her ass off, and Hyper actually managing to bring a smile to Benny's otherwise stoic face. Nostalgia Critic never entered the conversation at all.  
  
They ended up comfortable and cuddling by the end of it, exhausted from their emotional rollercoaster of a day. In the middle of their nap, Hyper woke up, glanced around to make sure she wasn't having a dream that was too good to be true, then inconspicuously took her phone and snapped a quick pic of her and Benny for all of Internet-land to see. She was finally happy for a while and needed everyone else to know.  
  
Of course Benny was aware of it. He just didn't mind.

* * *

  
  
Critic felt his phone buzz, then noticed it was a notification from Hyper's Facebook page. He groaned, feeling stupid as ever for not blocking her when he had the chance, but curiosity got the best of him and he had to check.  
  
He saw a picture of her, smiling widely but not too insanely, with Benny snuggled up to her shoulder. Nothing about Critic in the caption, just a cutesy little "Merry Christmas from two best friends!"  
  
Critic sighed in relief. She was happy without him even having to directly talk to her again. Maybe she was finally off his back now. Of course, who knew what the future held, if this was enough to pacify her?  
  
_Eh, screw it. It's Christmas, and I want to stay happy,_ Critic thought as he went to break out the bourbon and some _good_ eggnog.


End file.
